nearlylauura (nearlylauura) wrote,

If I were stalking you then I’d know your favourite cookie flavour (Oatmeal Raisin, by the way)

Rating: R (mention of sexual content, drugs, language)
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
POV: 3rd, Ryan-centric
Word count: 6011
Summary: Spencer's a video game addict, Jon's kind of an ass, Brendon's in Fall Out Boy and Ryan, uh, well he has a stalker.
Disclaimer: False and not real and I don't own the boys.

Ryan likes the calm of the library. The way nobody feels compelled to start conversation and so just lets the quiet settle. He likes the smell of leather bindings and the soft crunch of crisp paper. He likes the words and the images and emotions they create.

What he doesn’t like is the creepy guy at the other end of the table watching Ryan in what he probably assumes is a discrete way. But really, Ryan has always been very observant so no matter how hard this guy tries to hide his gaze behind a book it’s still not going to work. Especially since he hasn’t turned the page for 10 minutes.

He looks around the table to see if anyone else is looking at him, if it’s some kind of joke. But everybody else is absorbed in their books. Something Ryan wishes he could be.

At first it wasn’t so bad. Kind of endearing really. From what Ryan can see the guy is okay looking with a thick mop of dark hair and equally dark eyes; the book covers the rest of his face. But 20 minutes later it’s lost it’s charm and is starting to get really annoying.

It’s not the first time either. Yesterday, the same thing had happened but the guy had sat a couple more feet further away. Ryan is worried that if he comes back tomorrow creep will end up sat on his lap.

He can’t concentrate knowing this guy is watching his every move, and he really needs to finish this book in time for class tomorrow or he’s dead. So he sighs, closes the book and purposefully doesn’t look in creep’s direction as he rises to his feet, swings his shoulder bag on and strides out of the library. He pretends he doesn’t feel the gaze on his back the whole way.

He doesn’t realise he left his book behind until much later.

- - -

Ryan slams the apartment door behind him and drops his bag to the floor with a heavy sigh. He drags himself through the hallway and out into the living room before continuing into the kitchen and wrenching open the fridge.

‘Hey Ry.’ Spencer calls over his shoulder, not bothering to pause his game. He could tell from the moment the door opened Ryan was in a bad mood so he’s fully expecting a bitch fest at any moment now.

‘That fucking creep was there again.’ Ryan yells as he grabs a carton of orange juice. He tears the top open and brings it to his lips, quickly gulping it down.

‘Stalker guy?’ Spencer replies glancing back over his shoulder again, ‘other people have to drink that Ryan.’

Ryan makes a face, folding the top of the carton back again and replacing it in the fridge. ‘I’ve only seen him twice. It’s just. Weird. And freaky. What if he’s like a crazy axe murderer and he’s chosen me as his next victim.’

Spencer just laughs and Ryan flips him off as he stalks into his room. ‘If I end up dead it’s solely your fault Smith.’

- - -

Ryan throws some ice and some vanilla crap (he should really learn the actual names of the stuff he uses) into a blender and sets it to high before turning around and leaning against the counter, watching Jon serve some woman with a smooth smile.

‘What’s the vanilla crap called again?’ Ryan asks and Jon turns around, this time with a slightly more amused smile.

‘Uh, vanilla crap?’ He says and Ryan raises an eyebrow. ‘Dude, whatever, check the label or something.’

But Ryan just shakes his head and takes the newly blended concoction and pours it into the awaiting cardboard cup before handing it off.

He walks over to the snack display and starts rearranging the muffins because he knows Greta gets all freaky when they aren’t in the correct order.

‘Ry,’ Jon says suddenly in a stage whisper, ‘there’s some guy outside staring at you.’ And he chuckles.

But when Ryan looks up all he sees is a head of dark hair pacing across the street away from the coffee shop.

- - -

‘How’s the stalker doing?’

William leans back in his seat and watches Ryan turn his attention away from the professor at the front of the lecture hall.


‘Your stalker? How’s that going?’

‘Oh I don’t know. Plus he’s not my stalker. I’ve only seen him a couple of times. Maybe he just thinks I look like his brother or something.’

William gives him an incredulous expression. ‘Right. Because I stare mindlessly and follow around guys that look like a relative of mine. Ryan, pull your head out of your ass and talk to him.’

Ryan frowns and turns back to the front. ‘I thought the whole idea of having a stalker was not talking to them.’

‘So you admit he’s a stalker.’ William grins triumphantly and Ryan sighs, slumping further into his seat,


‘Talk to him.’


- - -

Ryan arrives to his shift at the coffee shop late because his alarm didn’t go off and Spencer didn’t bother to come and wake him up. It’s only 5 minutes, but he knows that if Greta is in today his pay will be docked by at least 2 hours.

He crashes in through the door and haphazardly tugs off his scarf as he scampers behind the counter. He barely registers Jon serving a shortish guy.

‘You can stop rampaging through the store, Ry. Greta’s not in.’ Jon calls as Ryan delves into the backroom to throw his stuff into his locker and pull on the stupid apron.

‘I know but she’s like a ninja, she could appear at any moment Jon. She’s dangerous.’ He says as he walks back out front, combing a hand through his messed up curls.

Jon hands a drink over to the guy and gives him a friendly smile. The guy pauses for a minute and when Ryan looks up the guy is looking right at him. And Ryan’s pretty flattered because the guy is hot and he has really nice full lips but then he looks at his eyes and they have a little flicker of crazy in them.

Ryan raises an eyebrow as Jon glances uncomfortably between the two and then the guy scuttles out.

‘Um.’ Jon says and Ryan agrees.

- - -

Stalker guy doesn’t turn up at the library but Ryan still can’t concentrate.

- - -

Slam. Crash. Fridge. Juice.

‘Hey Ry.’


‘Creepy guy there?’


‘Uh, okay then.’


‘So Travis is throwing a party tonight. You in?’


Spencer smiles.

- - -

The music hits Ryan’s ears from down the hall. He smiles and thinks home because this is what he does best. Sure, the library is great. It’s quiet and he can think. But sometimes he doesn’t want to think. And that is exactly what this atmosphere is about.

The door opens and he’s instantly hit by the fragrance of slightly off smoke. The place is already crowded, beer keg in place and dance floor already selected. He can see a couple of guys out on the balcony where even more smoke is accumulating and Ryan knows he’ll join them later.

He grabs a drink and leaves Spencer to converse with some guys he vaguely remembers are in the same music class as Spencer. He makes his own rounds, conquers a beer pong tournament with a mostly wasted Sisky and ends up curled up on the couch, half finished joint in hand, with Travis, Vicky-T, Alex and a couple other guys he’s already forgotten the names of.

Suddenly he feels a tap on his shoulder.

‘Hey Ry,’ Spencer breathes down his neck, ‘I’ve got class early in the morning so I’m heading back now. You alright here?’

‘Yeah,’ Ryan nods and gives Spencer a quick half hug and a reassuring smile before watching him disappear through the door.

He turns back to the conversation but doesn’t continue contributing. Instead he spaces out.

After an immeasurable amount of time, Ryan suddenly gets the feeling of eyes on him. He looks up and glances around at the group he’s with but they are all thoroughly involved in their debate on whether a platypus would make a good pet.

He shifts slightly stretching his neck out while he scans the room. And then his eyes meet another pair of dark brown orbs and he only has a moment to take this in before a figure appears in front of him.

‘Ryry, it’s been too long!’ Gabe says and leans down to capture Ryan in a hug, trailing his lips along his cheek when he pulls away.

‘It has asshole,’ Ryan says with a lopsided smile because he’s kind of out of it right now.

‘Come catch up?’ Gabe says with a telling smirk, and, well, Ryan’s never been able to say no to Gabe.

- - -

Ryan forgets all about the pair of dark brown eyes as soon as Gabe’s hand wraps around his dick.

- - -

‘Did you talk to stalker guy yet?’ William says.

‘No.’ Ryan replies and tries to concentrate on the stupid lecture.

‘You should.’ William says and Ryan grunts.

- - -

Ryan arrives at the library at the usual time and settles down into his usual seat. He gets out his book and his highlighters and his paper and starts taking notes, glancing around every so often.

But no sign of stalker guy.

Ryan sighs and focuses all of his attention on his work and manages to get it finished in half the time it would normally take him.

He gathers up his stuff and starts walking towards the door when he sees it out of the corner of his eye. Familiar brown eyes are focused intently on a book. The book Ryan was reading a few days ago when he last saw those brown eyes in the library. The book Ryan accidently left behind.

Ryan takes a moment to smile to himself before moving on.

- - -

‘Hey Ry.’ Spencer calls out as soon as Ryan closes the door.

‘Hey.’ He replies, walking over and dropping onto the couch next to his best friend.

‘So, um, do you know a Brendon?’ Spencer asks after having turned to face Ryan.

‘Uh, no?’ Ryan says with a small frown that Spencer echoes.


‘What?’ Ryan asks.

‘Nothing.’ Spencer says. ‘Best out of 3?’ He holds out the other remote to Ryan and they end up playing best out of 23.

- - -

Ryan slinks into the coffee shop on time for once. He stuffs his bag in his locker along with his scarf and gloves, rearranges his bandana, smooths down his apron and clocks in just before his shift is due to start.

He strides out from the back room with a smile on his face until he sees Jon’s even bigger grin. He changes to a concerned frown. There’s something devilish in that smile.

‘What?’ Ryan says, starting on a tall mocha.

‘A guy came round to drop something off for you.’ Jon says and Ryan turns around to see his book clasped between Jon’s hands.

So stalker guy knows where Ryan works. Well of course he does. He’s a stalker.

Ryan takes the book and ignored Jon’s inquisitive gaze and playful jabs about his ‘secret boyfriend’. This is exactly why he didn’t tell Jon about stalker guy.

- - -

That night Ryan is curled up in bed unable to sleep. Which isn’t uncommon for Ryan. It’s a long story.

He reaches down at retrieves his bag from where he dropped it next to his bed earlier. Reaching inside, he pulls out the book and settles his bag back onto the floor.

He flips the book open and scans through to the page he left off on. However, on finding his place he also discovers a small yellow post-it note stuck on the top line.

Josie’s dream is just a metaphor for how everything sucks. Especially the stuff you can’t have.

It’s written in large, looped writing that Ryan doesn’t recognise and it’s not awfully insightful but it’s something. He sticks it to the corner of his mirror, closes the book and leans back in bed.

He falls asleep with a smile on his face.

- - -

Stalker guy isn’t at the library the next day. Ryan knows because he checks. Like, everywhere. But no. He’s not there. So Ryan sits at the table and scribbles his way through his stupid English assignment for about half an hour before his phones buzzes in his pocket.

From: Spencer

To: Spencer
meet u in 5?

From: Spencer

Ryan flees the scene.

- - -

They settle down in a small corner, each sprawled out on a separate sofa and Ryan starts ranting about, well not even he’s sure, but he knows it feels good to drink the coffee rather than serve it.

He’s saying something about the governments disregard for low class citizens when Spencer’s attention is suddenly drawn away from him and onto something over his shoulder.

‘Brendon!’ Spencer calls, his mouth curving into a smile. Ryan gives him a confused look.

‘Hey Spence.’ A deep, smooth voice says from beside him and he looks up to see a familiar face. He simply stares for a minute trying to place him.

‘Ryan, this is Brendon. Brendon, Ryan.’ Spencer says gesturing between the two but Ryan is still to focused on Brendon and Brendon seems to be looking at Ryan a little nervously.

Suddenly it clicks.

‘Hey, you were in here the other day weren’t you? When you ran off?’ Ryan says, his eyes widening slightly at the realisation.

Brendon lets out a breathe he was apparently holding and says, ‘Uh. Yeah. I was late for. Class. So.’ And smiles.

Ryan gives him a sceptical glance but nods.

‘You busy Bren?’ Spencer says and Brendon looks conflicted for a moment, anxiously glancing between Ryan and the clock on the wall.

‘Actually, I have band practise, so…’ he trails off looking sorry and more than a little disappointed.

‘No it’s cool.’ Spencer replies with a smile as bright as anything. ‘See you around then yeah?’

‘Yeah.’ Brendon says with a slightly relieved smile. ‘Nice meeting you, Ryan.’ And his eyes dart towards Ryan once more before he turns and heads out the door.

Ryan turns his gaze to Spencer and raises an eyebrow. Spencer just shrugs.

- - -

‘I miss drinking coffee. It’s so much more fun than making it. Jon. Help me.’

Jon ignores Ryan’s pleads in favour of serving a customer, the bastard.

‘Jooooooooooooooooooon.’ Ryan whines again from where he is sat cross-legged behind the counter. It’s a slow day and he’s tired.

‘Get up you idiot,’ Jon says kicking him in the thigh, ‘you don’t know what gunk’s down there.’

‘That’s why it’s your job to clean it.’ Ryan replies but pushes himself up off the floor and leans on the counter next to Jon instead.

The bell above the door rings and Jon looks over, a small crease appearing between his eyebrows. Ryan glances over and stops.

‘Hey.’ Brendon says with the same nervous smile as he approaches him, a pile of papers clasped in his hand.

‘Hey.’ Ryan replies and then when he notices Jon glancing between them, ‘Jon, this is Brendon.’

‘Hi.’ Jon says holding his hand out.

Brendon takes it enthusiastically and his smile doubles. ‘Hi Jon.’

‘What can we do for you?’ Jon asks as Ryan looks on.

‘Uh. Well, my band is doing a show this Saturday and we kind of need people to actually come watch us so. Could you maybe put this flyer up? And, you know, it would be cool if you guys could come. Yeah.’ Brendon says holding out one of the papers.

‘Sure.’ Jon says.

‘Why not.’ Ryan says.

‘Awesome.’ Brendon says.

- - -

‘Are you wearing eyeliner?’ Spencer asks as Ryan grabs his jacket, keys and wallet.

‘Shut up.’ He replies. He’s going out. He wants to look nice. So what.

‘You haven’t worn make-up in, what, a year. Since the birds incident.’ Spencer replies with a smile.

‘We’re gonna be late.’ Ryan groans and flees out the door, leaving Spencer to lock up.

- - -

The club is a pretty decent venue, so Ryan deduces that Brendon’s band must be pretty decent also. There’s one band on before them, or well, a solo act, and one band on after them, My Chemical Romance if Ryan recalls correctly.

Him, Jon and Spencer find a nice spot near the bar after wishing Brendon good luck.

The first guy to come on is quite short with strawberry blonde hair tucked underneath a hat. He perches on a stool in front of the microphone stand and settles a guitar in his lap.

‘Hey guys. I’m Patrick. I’m gonna play some music for you.’ He introduces and then the music starts up and Ryan’s mouth drops open because, fuck, this guy is good.

Jon and Spencer seem equally as impressed, both pausing their conversation to listen.

Soon he finishes his set and exits the stage to thunderous applause, especially from a short dark haired and heavily tattooed guy at the side of the stage who proceeds to pull Patrick into a hug before bouncing on stage himself.

‘Hey guys.’ The new guy says while 3 other guys file onto stage behind him. ‘Tough act to follow right.’ Ryan picks Brendon out holding 2 guitars. He hands one off to the guy who just spoke before stepping up to a microphone himself.

The guy with glasses on settles behind the drums and the guy with the miniature afro checks the tuning on his guitar.

‘So I’m Pete.’ The guy says, ‘and that’s Brendon, Andy and Joe. And we are Fall Out Boy!’ He throws his fists in the air while Brendon whoops enthusiastically.

‘So here we go!’ Pete says and the music starts up again. It’s more upbeat and more like rock than Patrick’s but Ryan finds it easier to get into. And then Brendon starts singing and there’s that moment of complete awe all over again but this time it’s even more because it’s Brendon. Awkward smiles Brendon.

- - -

Ryan spends the next half hour focused entirely on Brendon. The way he commands the stage. It’s entrancing. He barely even hears the music. All he takes in is Brendon and his voice.

At the end the four of them bow and step of stage to wild applause and then Ryan sees Brendon weaving his way over to him.

‘Hey.’ Brendon cheers, bouncing to a stop next to Ryan. ‘So how were we?’ He asks and bites his lip like he’s actually worried about the answer to the question.

‘Good.’ Spencer says.

‘Really good.’ Jon says.

‘Wow.’ Ryan says and Brendon smiles at him, the widest smile Ryan thinks he has ever seen.

‘Thanks guys!’ He squeals and then steals Spencer’s beer.

‘Hey, you little brat, get your own!’ Spencer snaps but Brendon just laughs and starts running around them in circles while Spencer chases him.

And it makes Ryan smile because he’s never seen Spencer like this. And he supposes it’s his fault for always being so serious. So dreary and mopey. But that’s a long story.

Spencer’s younger than him. Spencer shouldn’t have to see life like Ryan does. He deserves his youth. So Ryan smiles and thanks Brendon internally.

Although it seems Brendon knows anyway with how he keeps glancing at Ryan in an almost excited way.

- - -

Brendon turns up at his apartment the next day and drags him out for coffee. Ryan doesn’t question how Brendon knows where he lives because obviously Spencer told him.

He does question how Brendon knows his exact coffee order, down to the soymilk. But when he asks Brendon just averts his eyes, shrugs and says, ‘Spencer mentioned it one time.’ So Ryan lets it go.

- - -

Ryan doesn’t see stalker guy at the library.

- - -

Ryan slams the door and drops his bag and walks out into the living room, pausing when he notices two bodies strewn on the couch instead of just one.

‘Hey!’ Brendon calls with a bright smile, tipping his head back so it dangles over the edge of the sofa.

‘Hey.’ Ryan replies and heads slowly over to the kitchen again. Spencer waves a hand, not taking his eyes from the game.

It’s not strange to see Brendon in his apartment. It’s been quite a regular occurrence over the last couple of weeks. Almost like routine actually. He’s become comfortable with having Brendon around. It’s just usually he doesn’t turn up so early in the day, waits until evening to come around and sometimes crashes on their couch.

Ryan gulps down some orange juice and grabs a packet of pretzels before crashing onto the sofa between Brendon and Spencer, who glances at his face once, notices the sour expression and sighs.

‘Stalker guy?’ He asks.

‘No.’ Ryan says.


‘As in he hasn’t been around for a while.’

‘Oh.’ Spencer finishes and Brendon stays silent.

‘Jon’s coming round soon for a movie night.’ Spencer says finally and Ryan hums his approval.

‘What are we watching?’ Brendon asks.

‘No Disney.’ Ryan replies with a cautionary glance. Brendon pouts.

‘And no stupid mind fuck movie.’ Spencer adds. ‘And nothing with subtitles. I like to watch movies, not read them.’ And Brendon grins while it’s Ryan’s turn to pout.

- - -

When Jon arrives, Brendon (‘But Jon, squishy sofa cushions keep my ass healthy. How will I have enjoyable sex without a healthy ass?’) and Ryan (‘Fuck you’) are kicked off the sofa and onto the floor. Ryan retrieves a blanket and some cushions from the store cupboard and lays them out.

He isn’t paying attention to what movie they watch (he vaguely remembers something about violence) but is more aware of Brendon draped over him. It’s normal really. He learnt early on that Brendon was a touchy person. He’d often attach himself to Ryan’s side, or Spencer’s if Ryan wasn’t aside or if he pushed him away muttering ‘personal space you fucker’.

But this is different. It’s dark, for one, so Ryan’s senses have all escalated greatly. He can feel the heat radiating onto him everywhere along his left side where Brendon is pressed tightly against him. He can feel the way Brendon’s fingers are idly tracing patterns against his thigh and the steady and constant puffs of Brendon’s warm breath against his neck, perhaps closer than they should be.

And then Brendon’s head drops onto Ryan’s shoulder and Ryan tenses up a little. It gets worse when Brendon wraps his arms around Ryan’s waist and nuzzles into his neck murmuring ‘warm’ but Ryan doesn’t trust himself to move, let alone push Brendon away.

And this is the problem. Ryan’s not a physical contact kind of guy. He barely let’s Jon touch him, Spencer is the only real exception but that’s, well, it’s a long story. But the thing is, Ryan doesn’t think he minds Brendon touching him. That’s wrong. Ryan shouldn’t feel like that.

So when Brendon does touch him and his brain screams ‘no no no no’ but all his body says is ‘yes yes yes yes’ and it’s confusing.

Ryan glances up and catches Spencer watching them warily but with a small smile across his lips. He raises an eyebrow and Ryan raises one in return before turning back to an almost purring Brendon.

‘If you’re so cold, put a jumper on.’ He whispers into Brendon’s ear and he swears he can see Brendon shiver slightly.

‘Didn’t bring one.’ He whispers back.

‘Borrow one of mine.’ Ryan suggests.

Brendon turns towards him and examines his face for a moment before he nods and says, ‘Okay. Please.’

Ryan climbs to his feet and staggers his way over to his bedroom where he swings the door open and flicks on the light. He turns towards his wardrobe and yanks it open, searching through for something that looks like it would fit Brendon.

Out of the corner of his eye he notices Brendon appear in the doorway before carefully moving further inside.

Ryan finds a suitable jumper and turns back to Brendon holding it out to him. Brendon’s eyes snap back to Ryan and he takes the jumper with an uneasy smile before dashing back out into the living room.

Ryan looks over to where Brendon had been focused and sees the small yellow post it note still stuck onto the corner of his mirror.

- - -

‘So did you talk to your stalker?’ William asks only to be shushed by the professor.

‘They stopped stalking.’ Ryan replies.


Ryan just shrugs and William watches him for a moment before turning back to the front.

- - -

Brendon comes into the coffee shop the next day while Ryan’s on shift.

‘I bring tidings of great joy!’ He announces and bounces over to the counter where Ryan was idly flicking through a magazine.

‘You bought drugs? Lots of them? Please lord, let there be lots!’ Ryan replies, sagging slightly onto the counter. He’s bored. Really fucking bored.

‘Nope! Even better! I bring your hoodie!’ Brendon replies and flings the material in question into the air, catching it again in his outstretched arms.

‘Thanks.’ Ryan says dryly and makes grabby hands at the hoody. ‘Now give me that before you get coffee shit all over it!’

‘Fine, fine!’ Brendon replies, relenting his grasp on it and handing it over. Ryan disappears into the back for a minute and stores it away before reappearing.

‘You’re still here.’ He comments.

‘I know, it’s great right!’ Brendon says and grins widely but when Ryan just continues his stony expression he feels compelled to explain himself. ‘Travis is having a party tonight. You game?’

Ryan narrows his eyes slightly. ‘You know Travis?’ He asks. And he remembers the last party. He remembers seeing his stalker, well, ex stalker since the guy hasn’t shown his, um, presence for a couple of weeks now.

‘Uh yeah. He’s Gabe’s friend right? Gabe’s in my music class.’ He says with a shifty smile.

‘You know Gabe?’ Ryan asks warily because he also remembers what happened with Gabe.

Brendon nods but then some kind of realisation seems to dawn on him as he flinches. ‘You don’t have to if you don’t…’

‘No. No. I’ll come.’ Ryan says with a smile and Brendon smiles in return.

- - -

‘I hate Friday afternoon lectures.’ Ryan says as he slides further into his seat, trying to drown out the sound of the professor’s drawl.

‘I hate lectures.’ William replies and supresses a yawn.

‘Hey,’ Ryan says suddenly hatching a plan, ‘you busy tonight?’

‘Uh. No. Why?’ William replies as his eyes slip shut.

‘My friend’s having a party. Wanna come?’


‘Awesome. I’ll pick you up about 9 yeah?’


- - -

Ryan’s plan was simple really.

Casual sex was out. In order to avoid casual sex, he would have to avoid Gabe (because he can never say no to Gabe, remember). And in order to avoid Gabe, he would have to distract Gabe.

William is young, good lucking, excellent stamina (Ryan knows from experience but it was only once he swears), tall, mysterious, hips to fucking die for. Ryan’s pretty sure he could handle Gabe, in fact, it was more a question if Gabe could handle him.

- - -

Ryan picks William up at 9 as agreed. He makes the introductions between him, Spencer and Jon who has decided to tag along this time.

They get to the party shortly after 10 past and Brendon instantly attaches to Ryan’s side as though he has some kind of Ryan radar. He drags Ryan over to a small group of guys and instantly demands that Ryan be introduced to the ‘most fucking awesome guys in the world, except you, and maybe Jon Walker’ (because Brendon had some kind of strange brotherly love thing going on with Jon) otherwise known as his band mates.

‘So you’re the mysterious Ryan Ross.’ The one Ryan recognises as Pete chuckles and he’s a lot shorter than Ryan expected. Shorter than Brendon even.

‘So I am.’ Ryan replies with a slanted smile, noticing the way Pete is obviously eying him up. His eyes flicker over to Brendon whose face holds a strained smile. ‘So, you’re Pete right?’

‘Pete Wentz!’ He says and holds his hand out for Ryan to shake, which he does. ‘This is Andy Hurley,’ he continues gesturing over his shoulder to a taller man with wild ginger curls and glasses perched on his nose, ‘and that’s Joe Trohman.’ The guy with the afro.

Ryan greets all of them and he ends up in deep conversation with Pete about the importance of lyrics in music. As a creative writing major, Ryan knows all about words. Brendon hovers around Jon, eyes constantly flicking over to them.

After an hour or so William appears at Ryan’s shoulder and says a simple,’ You, me, beer pong. Let’s go.’ Before grabbing Ryan’s hand and dragging him off to an awaiting game. He’d almost forgotten about his plan, but it seems Gabe hasn’t arrived yet anyway.

They get through to the semi finals before William throws a wonky shot and they get kicked out, Bill claiming he was too wasted to continue anyway but Ryan knows Bill and he knows that if he were actually drunk he would be stripping by now.

They settle down on a sofa together and Brendon comes over to join them, sitting half on Ryan’s lap in the confined space but Ryan’s senses are dulled just enough for him to not mind and maybe, just maybe, he curls his arm around Brendon’s waist and tugs him a bit closer while Brendon makes a pleased noise.

After a while a large weight suddenly settles itself on top of both him and Brendon.

‘Bden and Ryro all in one little package! It’s like heaven on earth!’ Gabe crows, ruffling both their hair in turn. Brendon tries to bite his hand while Ryan just frowns. But then Gabe’s attention is turned away from them and onto a sceptical looking Bill.

‘Why hello.’ Gabe says with a coy smirk before elbowing Ryan. ‘Who’s your friend?’

‘Gabe, this is William. William, this is jackass.’ Ryan says in a drawl, suppressing a smile because that was easier than expected.

‘Jackass.’ William says with a small curve to his mouth.

‘William. The cobra tells me you have a strong heart and an even stronger-‘

‘Gabe.’ Ryan says warningly.

‘Don’t worry mi hermano. I will take good care of your friend.’ And then Gabe is dragging William over to the beer keg to get ‘fucked up’.

‘Alone at last.’ Brendon says teasingly, snuggling further onto Ryan’s lap and leaning his head onto Ryan’s chest.

‘Dude, you look like you’re about to pass out.’ Ryan chuckles and Brendon looks up at him with a winning smile, face closer to his than anticipated.

‘I’m an excellent fuck even when unconscious. I’m just that good.’ He says but his voice has dropped lower and Ryan can’t quite stop his eyes from flicking down to Brendon’s lips every so often.

They just sit and look at each other for a few tense moments and then Travis pops up behind them and says ‘bros’, causing Brendon to jump about 3 foot into the air and off Ryan’s lap. Ryan crosses his legs and coughs awkwardly.

- - -

Ryan should be happy that plan Gabe/William worked out better than expected. But when Bill is ignoring him in favour of trying to discretely text Gabe under his desk leaving Ryan to endure a really fucking boring lecture, he’s kind of pissed it did.

In fact, it’s so bad that their other friends have already nicknamed the duo ‘Gabilliam’ which sort of makes Ryan want to puke. He’s heard Gabe refer to them by that name a couple of times too.

What’s put him in an even worse mood is the fact that he hasn’t seen Brendon in almost a week. It almost feels like Brendon is purposefully avoiding him and that would kind of suck because Ryan doesn’t know or understand why.

He jabs William in the ribs causing him to yelp out in surprise and jump sideways slightly but other than shooting a glare at Ryan he continues on regardless.

- - -

‘Life sucks.’ Ryan whines as he wipes down the last table.

Jon hums. ‘What did everybody else do wrong this time.’

‘Shut up.’ He says and throws the washcloth in his general direction but he can’t stop his brain from screaming not everyone, just Brendon.

- - -

When Ryan arrives home he slams the door, throws his bag at the wall opposite him and storms through the living room and into the kitchen. He’s gulped down half the carton of orange juice and replaced it in the fridge before he realises it strangely silent.

He plods out into the living room once again and glances over to the sofa to find it empty. He walks over to Spencer’s room and peers in through the slightly ajar door to find that empty too. He huffs and let’s his eyes trail over the apartment.

Typical. The one day he actually needs Spencer he’s decided to abandon his couch potato reputation in favour of going out.

He checks his phone and, sure enough, there is one new message from Spencer simply reading cram session w/ Trv be back around 11

Ryan huffs and sinks down onto the sofa.

Stupid Spencer. Stupid Brendon. Stupid everyone.

He can’t help but feel disappointed. Brendon has left him. Hell, he wasn’t good enough for even his stalker to stick around. It fucking sucks.

He spreads himself out further on the sofa and sulks.

Then suddenly he finds his eyes flying open and vaguely wonders when they closed in the first place but theirs something slamming against the door. He leaps to his feet and walks warily over to the door before turning the knob and edging it open slightly, peering around the edge.

‘Brendon?’ He says shocked because. Uh. Wow.

‘Can I come in?’ He sniffles and Ryan almost breaks down crying because he looks like shit. His hair is wet and greasy and lying limp across his forehead and his eyes are red and puffy and his lip is jutted out and wobbling slightly and Ryan kind of wants to hug him but no. Brendon’s an asshole.

‘Sure.’ He says stonily and opens the door further, allowing Brendon to shuffle in and pause by the couch, looking around awkwardly.

Ryan closes the door and watches him for a minute. Usually Brendon would have taken over the couch now or slung himself over Ryan’s back but he’s just stood there looking uncomfortable and it’s heart-breaking.

‘Brendon…’ he starts.

‘They kicked me out.’ Brendon says and Ryan’s mind immediately jumps to his roommates because he’s always known they were assholes but really- ‘the band. They kicked me out of the band.’ And then Brendon drops onto the sofa and buries his face in his hands.

Ryan stands in shock for a minute before crossing the distant between them and sinking down next to Brendon, wrapping an arm around him to which Brendon responds by burrowing into his side.

‘They found a, a new singer. A, a bet-better one. Pete said it, w-worked better with him. With P-Patrick.’ Brendon sobs out and Ryan can feel him shaking. ‘The band was all I had Ryan’ Hiccup. ‘It was everything.’

Ryan tightens his hold and hushes Brendon, breathing calmly onto the top of his head.

They sit wrapped up in each other, Ryan calming Brendon for almost half an hour before Ryan notices Brendon shivering quite violently and wrapping his arms around himself.

‘Cold?’ Ryan murmurs and Brendon looks up at him with wide, wet eyes and nods slowly.

Ryan smiles lightly and untangles himself from Brendon before striding into his room and pulling out the jumper he lent Brendon last time. It falls open in his hand and a familiar small, yellow post it note flutters out.

Ryan stares for a while before stooping down and picking it up.

It’s different though. It’s a new post it note with new words.

I was wrong. Sometimes life gives you a break and gives you want you want. Just not in the way you want it.

And it’s in the same curly handwriting and it’s still not insightful or deep or poetic but it’s plain and it’s simple and Ryan understands.

He drops the note onto the bed and re-enters to living room jumper grasped in hand. He sits beside Brendon again, who gives him a grateful smile as Ryan helps his tug the hoody on.

Ryan smooths the hoody out, running his hands down Brendon’s sides and he glances up to find Brendon watching him, faces close to together still as Ryan hasn’t leaned back yet.

And then Brendon’s eyes flick down to his mouth unsurely and Ryan thinks yes just before he closes the distance and then Brendon’s mouth is hot and warm and wet and sweet and perfect against his as his eyes drop shut, Brendon’s echoing the movement.

It only lasts a second before he pulls back to study Brendon’s face. His eyes open slowly and he looks at Ryan in what looks like fear and awe and want and something else and then it all clicks together.

‘How long have I known you?’ Ryan whispers.

‘3 months.’ Brendon replies quietly, breath ghosting over Ryan’s lips.

‘How long have you known me?’ Ryan whispers.

‘9 months, 1 week, 3 days and 7 hours.’ Brendon replies with a sheepish smile.

And Ryan thinks that maybe he ought to be creeped out. But he’s really not.

And as he leans in again, looking into those familiar dark brown pools he can’t even remember why he should be.

Tags: patd, r, ryden, rydon, slash, standalone
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